Jet Onyx - Dark Diamond Chronicles
by BlackDiamond6169
Summary: A mystrious stranger drifts into beach city with a love of kicks and a bigger love of the ladies, who brings trouble where ever he goes, will beach city be able to handle the pressure or will it break under the waves


The big man rolled along the highway cars where 2 stuffy managers where a drag any1 who needed one of those where a llittle beetch. Jet tipped his fedora with his self powered electric guitar to the risingmoon "Beach city huh? Could be my kind of town". As he cackled self rolliing down the road again.

Steven just the big donut holding a big box in his chubby boi arms "Wow Garnet and amethyst will impressed I got from the clearence, they might a little stale but a bit of coffee'll work off the rust making a pained smile. When out of nowehere he hear the sounds of a nerd getting fucking dunjed on SWOOSH FLASP FUCK. The feather weight of the donuts where too much for Steven's limp wrists so he dropped and rushed to the sound of trouble. He saw a mysterious stranger in a black trench and combat boots with blac leather pants and 3 studded belts a Nirvanan tee shirt a pale chiseled face accentuated with a dark silken gentlemans fedora womping on that fat prick Ronaldo with a bass guitar that looked olike it was chilseled from pure obsidian from hell iteself with a pentagram on it.

R0onaldo cried like a little bitch as blood ran doowb n his faicr "Please stop I'll give you all the biits and money you want! Plwase don't fuck my girllfriend"! Jet klaughed wickedly I'm not in it for he bitd the money or your gfat ugly bitch i'm in it to see you bleed he smiled revealing his rows razor sharp teeth which he had sharpened into points like a vampire shark dripping eith blood. Even though as a aweak easily scared dough boy Steven knew he had up to this meanance cause no one in beach city couold even though he peed himself a little. "LEAVE RONALDO ALONE HES MY FRIEEEEEEDDDDNNNNNNDDDDDD! HE SCReamed trying to run evening though is flabby fram weighed down and broke some boardwalks. Jet dodged with no effort needed sliding and dunking like Shaq on the floorm smiling wickedly "nice moves kiddo learn em in fat classmhe said laughing again." As a sensitive part woman boy Steven started to cry but couldn't stop as everyone depended on him. As much as fun as Jet was having he decided thaty enough was enough hed wasted enough time and had nsome real big shit to do, "Times been fun lardo but I gotta split2 he said "maybe I'll see you in Mcdonalds some time" He grabed his keytar AND SLAMMED IT Into stevens disgusting rolls of fst making him fly into pedes fry stand blowing it up, an eathquake was felt for miles aroundd as his bllobby frame made contact with the earth. Steven cried for he knew fore he knew that he had been outclasssed by a true alpha male made worse by Connie being there who was giving Jet the eye "Cucked again steven said to himself".

Steven resorted to his last resort crying like a lil bitch he shouted "I'm telling my two gay moms on you!" he tried to run but his stubby made him trip repeatedly it was pretty embarrasing. Jet tipped his fedora "It was just a bit of horesplay bro!" he cackled again, fucking nerd.

Covered in cuts and bruises from fallin like a moron with his pants around his legs beta wang swinging in th breeze Steven criees to Garnet and amethyst "GARNET AMETHYST A GUY WAS MEAN TO ME PLEASE COME BEAT HIM UP!" MAKing a pathetic mess of himself on the floor .Garnet and amethyst sighed "Again Steven that's the fourth time this week" and it's nly Monday sayss Amethst. "Alight Steven but you need to learn to be a man soon " said Garnet trailing along to the bored walk.

Jet started setting up his set, he was preparing to play swans, animal collective and moon child. The crowds where already stating to gather ehich is natural for a peformer of his caliber but little did they realise they where fgoonna question their existance forever. He could feel the presencee of fine poontang in the are and tipped his fedora up with his drum sticks, "They be some fine ladies rolling up looking for trouble but are they ready to tangle with the viper." His long tongue convulved though his shark like tetth as he cackled ahgain rocking an intense solo that made Neutral milkhotel like a bunch of droopy armless Anne-frank worshipping fetishists. Garnet and amethyst where stopped in their tracks as a wave of sexual hit them like a tsunami to a lone crustaceon shaking ntheir womanhoo to the core. Steven hopped up and down behind like the fat lapdog he is "Are you gonna beat his ass" His rools bouncing likea balloon filled with fat and oil. "Can I help you with anything you voluptous vixens or do you want to play with your dumb kid some more" going into a breakdown that made Primus look like elevator music. Garnet said "ou..ou..our pig son said you hit him or some shit I wasn't listening. Jet smirkd "We where just rough hisin not my fault tubby tim cant take a joke that dosent come with a side of fries" Garnets nose bled profusedly Amethyst was beginning to drown in hers she says £"That's understandable he's a cuck boi" and pushes Steven into the dirt like the worm he is. Then joing ing jet on the stage and dancing all sexilyas Amethyst joined. 2Darnit double cucked again, Steven said contemplating suicicde."

Just then as Jet was looking fucking awesome a yellow hand came from the sky and ruined his lighting, Jet was pretty pissed he spent 45minutes getting it just right, they'd have to pay more then the tubbos did. "Oh no said Garnet, that's Yellow diamnds ship we've never been able to beat her, we should run!" Jet snorted, "Is that it?" Just then the knuckles lit up and tried to erase hime but he reflected with his yamaha causing it to crash into the sea as agem warriors flooded out.

Jet jumped onto the beach, "I've never been one for water sports but theres a time and a place." Grabbing his gibson flying V and began shattering gems left right and centre. Steven screamed at him to stop saying that gems deserve to live and no one has t die, crying like the effeminite wuss he is. Jet tried not to laugh but failed miserably, "good joke kiddo, but all's fair in love and war!", he howled shattering a ruby in one hit, he grabbed her shards and said mournfully your sacrifice will not be in vain, tossing the remainds ot the wind, shit was lit. All other challengers retarded back to the ship, some drowning after seeing Jet in his glory except for Jasper who eyed him up, she wasn't sure if she should trying fighting him, some bizarre human reproductive practive, bowing down in awe, or all three. Against he better judgement Jasper charges in knowing she is not a match for adversary but must fight for her diamond. Jet cunt punts her to the kerb, not lkilling her but making her realise the mistake that they she made. Finially the raid boss came out yellow diamond herself in all her noodle necked glory. "I don't know how youdid all this but your little game is at an end she assumes the position placing he hadnds by her waist charging a yellow beam of energy like a bulbasaur Jet mereyl placed his arms out at either side welcoming the blast, "Give me all you got Kiddo!"

All the onlookers except for Steven who secretly hoped he would die after being triple cucked shed tears thinking it was the end for theit epic hero , but they all gasped in amazement when they saw that he was untouched except for his Nirvana shirt which was a all ripped a black diamond on his chest. Yellow steeped back scared "What is this trickery you cunt?" she shouted shitting herself with rage. Jet casually smirked, is that? I'm a little bored now". He asked her you ever hear the story of black diamond, cause I don't think it's one White would've told you.


End file.
